Why Am I Allowed to Parent Part Five: The Battery Theif

We recently celebrated little mans birthday, and being the spoiled baby boy that he is, he made out like a bandit in the toy department. As grateful as I always am for the kindness and generosity of our family and friends there is one thing I will never get used to, toys that make noise. Maybe its just because we’re typically quiet people, or because at 23 years old I haven’t quite settled into the mom life, but noisy toys drive me insane! This leads me into this weeks installment about that time I put off putting in batteries, or took batteries out of a baby toy.

For our baby shower we received this really awesome zebra walker, it’s great, the design is super functional, it has entertained little dude from month four to present, but when I tell you I built that thing in September, and it didn’t get batteries until February, there was a reason why. With most moving toys if you move them, they make noise, but look at this adorable zebra the wrong way and you’ll never hear the end of it. I was safe in my silent zebra world until a family member mentioned it one night after dinner, and the batteries went in much to my disgruntled and half hearted “oh I think we’re all out of double a battery” claims.

Fast forward a few months and little man gets the coolest Paw Patrol ride along fire engine, the seat even pops up to keep snacks and his sippy cup while he plays! Perfect for indoors as a battering ram on the bathroom door while I’m trying to pee, or outdoors to move through the grass at break neck speeds, this thing is truly the best! Until after forty five minutes of listening to the Paw Patrol theme song has me chugging whatever wine is within arms reach and searching tirelessly for a screw driver so I could remove the batteries. I may be many things, but patient is not one of them. I took those batteries out faster than you could say Paw Patrol and we resumed the quiet life we lead, sans the constant sound of sirens and the blaring of the Paw Patrol theme song.

Now many of you may read this in disgust and question how I can be so cruel, my answer is simple, parenting is about survival and if we need to remove batteries from toys in order to do that, than survive we must! Little man has a plethora of quiet toys or battery missing toys that he plays with just fine, and by making his own sounds he works on his words and uses his imagination, sure these might be things I tell myself so I can sleep at night, but read again my point on survival and you’ll understand.

So yes, I may be a battery thief, but moms (and dads) have to do what they have to do, and listening to the same song over and over is not on that list. That wraps up my series of “Why Am I Allowed to Parent” and I hope you found these moments as funny as I did, and find solidarity in the fact that truly no parent is perfect, and sometimes you just have to make it through the day and laugh at the chaos.

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